Damn, this one took as long to edit as it did to write. Anyway, here it is, hot off the presses.
Thanks for reading. Maintain rocking status. \m/
-Alex
Jarn, Retis, and I got to the health center at nine-thirty on the dot. Medica Lily looked relieved to see us. “Thank Gaia,” she sighed. “He will not stop asking me, ‘Are they here yet? Can my friends come in yet?’” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Maybe now he’ll shut up about it.”
She ushered us into the room, turned on her heel, and was gone—rather quickly for someone her size.
“Hey, you made it!” Roo sat up.
“Of course we did,” I said. “How’s the leg? You sure seem to be feeling better than yesterday.”
He nodded. “Much better. It doesn’t hurt or anything,” he said patting the contraption fixed to his right ankle. “It’s just numb an’ a little tingly. Except…” He looked at Jarn.
“What?” Jarn asked.
“Except they called home,” Roo mumbled. “Eisha’s on her way.”
“Eisha’s coming here?”
Roo nodded glumly. “She left last night. She’ll be here in a half hour.”
“Well, shit.”
“Who’s Eisha?” I asked.
“My mom…” said Roo.
“You call her Eisha?”
“I call her Mom to her face, but I also call Jarn’s mom Mom to her face. We use their first names when we need to tell them apart.”
“Oh right,” I realized, “the big family thing. That makes sense. Why don’t you want her to come?”
“Eisha can be…” Jarn paused to find the right word. “Intense,” he finished.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Twenty minutes later, we heard voices arguing down the hall. Suddenly there was a flurry of feet slap-clacking on the tile floor, followed by a shriek.
“Oh Gaia,” Roo groaned. “She’s here.”
The rest of us jumped up to stick our heads out the door just in time to see Medica Lily stride past us. Halfway down the hall was an angry grey lump of fur and muscle I took to be Eisha. She’d taken hold of a nurse’s ponytail and was using it to pull the distressed girl’s head down to deliver a thorough—not to mention shrill—tongue-lashing face to face.
“Ma’am,” Medica Lily said sternly, “please release my nurse.”
“Love to, young lady,” Eisha replied wryly. “But she still hasn’t told me where my son is.”
“I don’t even know who your son is!” sobbed the nurse. “I told you… I’d have to look it up at the desk to find out what room he’s in.”
“Don’t bother,” said Medica Lily. “I think I might have an idea where he is. Your son doesn’t happen to be Roo Pearblossom, does he?”
“That’s him, yeah! Where is he?” Eisha demanded. “I swear to Sephis, if you don’t take me to ‘im…”
“Let go of my nurse’s hair.” Medica Lily’s voice was hard, just shy of threatening.
“Not ‘til I see Roo,” Eisha retorted.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Eisha,” Jarn blurted out. His eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth—but not quick enough: She’d heard him.
“Jarn Pearblossom, you nasty little earworm!” Eisha came rushing toward us, nurse in tow. We all jumped back into the room just before she burst through the door, releasing the nurse and focusing her wrath on Jarn. “It was you, wasn’t it? You an’ your rot-brain ideas were always gettin’ sweet Roo in trouble. And now you’ve got his leg blown off!?”
“It wasn’t me, Ma, I promise!” cried Jarn.
“He didn’t do it, Ma,” Roo pleaded. “It was an accident.”
“Don’t you defend him! I know how you two are together—all fulla piss and dumber than dirt. And where were you all while this was goin’ on?” she demanded, turning on Retis and me. “You’re supposed to be their friends, yeah? Well, what kinda friends let my boy lose a leg?”
“I was there,” said Pebbles. “And you’re right, I should have done something to stop it. I’m sorry.” She looked like she might cry. “Roo,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
That seemed to soften Eisha a bit. “I’m sure you are,” she said. “You must be Pebbles, yeah?” Pebbles nodded. Eisha studied her face for a moment, sizing her up. “Well, from what Roo’s told me about ya, you’re a good girl. I’m sure ya did what ya could. It’s my boys I’m really mad at, not you.” Roo and Jarn withered under her glare.
“Excuse me,” Medica Lily broke in. “I’m sorry to interrupt…”
“Oh, and you.” Eisha pointed her finger menacingly. “Just what’re you doin’ to help my boy?”
“I was about to tell you, if you’ll let me.” Medica Lily waited until it was clear no one would interrupt, then continued. “First of all, Roo didn’t get ‘his leg blown off.’ It was just his foot, and there’s a real chance he could grow it back. His body is fighting the scald, but whether he’ll be strong enough to withstand regeneration remains to be seen.”
“‘Remains to be seen?’” Eisha exclaimed. “Just what in Gaia’s name does that mean?”
Medica Lily’s jaw clenched. “It means we don’t know yet,” she said, visibly restraining herself. “For now, he’ll just have to wear the splint we’ve applied and use crutches to get around; but, as long as he comes back for treatment twice a day and sleeps here in the trauma room, he can be released Monday morning.”
“You mean you’re gonna let him walk around with a foot missing?!” Eisha screeched.
“Yes,” Medica Lily replied. “I am. The splint will keep ambient magic from doing any real damage and it will make sure his body doesn’t have an unexpected reaction while attempting to heal itself. You will have to stay away from lab classes, Roo, and don’t even think about getting back on the scram field until I say it’s okay. Got it?”
Roo nodded.
“Why does he have to sleep here?” asked Jarn.
“Sleep is when your body does a lot of unpredictable and amazing things, and the only way we can control them is to have him in one of our rooms.”
“Don’t worry,” Eisha said. “He’ll do exactly what you say. Won’t you, Roo?”
He nodded again.
We spent the most of the weekend in the health center with Roo. It wasn’t that bad, considering the circumstances; Roo was in fairly good spirits—which probably had a lot to do with him making the team—and Eisha had calmed down a lot after the initial shock wore off. She even made lunch for us on Sunday, setting up a little picnic in Roo’s room.
Jarn and Roo had all their classes together on Monday, so they met up at the health center so Jarn could carry Roo’s books and open doors for him and everything. We met Jarn outside the health center for practice after he dropped Roo off for his second treatment of the day.
“He tried to come with me,” Jarn said when we got there. “Idiot. When I left, Medica Lily was yelling at him about undoing all her hard work or something.”
I smiled. “Yeah, that sounds like her. Let’s get going—I wanna get there a little early so we can talk to Feral about all this.”
“Good idea,” Jarn agreed, and we set off toward the arena. “How long d’you think she’ll keep Roo on the team if—”
A crutch clattered to the sidewalk right in front of us, cutting Jarn off mid-sentence. “What the hell?”
We looked up to see Roo trying to climb out one of the health center’s windows. “Hang on, guys,” he called. “I’m coming with you!”
It looked like he was about to make it out of the window (how he planned on handling the ten-foot drop head first was another matter) but he got stuck when he tried to pull the second crutch through behind him. The few seconds it took him to get the crutch turned the right way was all Medica Lily and Eisha needed; we heard a shrill string of what I assume were Gibri curses and then a giant hand with pale pink fingernails grabbed Roo by the arm.
“Shit!” His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t give up on his escape attempt. He braced his elbow against the outside window frame so Medica Lily couldn’t pull him back inside without breaking his arm and pushed off the other side with his free hand. We could hear Eisha shouting furiously as Roo struggled to get away, “Gai-damn you, Roo!” she screeched. “You’re as bad as your brother!”
Retis and I were in hysterics, but Jarn was rooting him on. “You can do it, Roo!” he cheered. “Just get your leg over the edge there!”
Roo grinned at us, accidentally letting his guard down for half a second, which was all Medica Lily needed. Another giant hand shot out and wrapped around Roo’s other arm and, in an instant, it was all over; Medica Lily pinned his arms to his sides so he couldn’t get a hold of anything, and then he disappear inside.
“Ow!” we heard him shout. “Leggo of me! I’m injured for Gaia’s sake!”
Medica Lily reappeared at the window, scowling at us as she pulled it closed and turned the latch to lock it.
“That was awesome,” I said when I’d stopped laughing enough to breathe. “I guess we should take his crutch back though.” We looked at the crutch and immediately burst out laughing all over again.
“Yeah, probably,” Retis said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Though, after what they’re going to do to him, he might be better off with a wheelchair.”
We returned the crutch and made our way to the arena, barely making it by five-thirty when practice was set to start. The Gargoyle greeted us as we climbed the steps to the splattergates. “Hello, Shawn,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.” He smiled, which was more than a little disconcerting—his face was clearly not built to be anything short of terrifying.
“Uh… Thanks,” I said. “Good to see you too.”
“Good luck today,” he said. “I’ll be rooting for you.”
“It’s just practice,” I told him. “There’s no match tonight.”
“All the same,” he said with another nightmarish grin. “Good luck.”
We walked out onto the field and started to make our way over to the group of students gathered around the center field’s goal tower. Pebbles saw us coming and ran to meet us before we got there.
“How is he?” she asked.
“Good to see you too,” said Retis. She glared at him. “Uh…” he stammered. “I mean, Roo’s okay. He’s at the health center. Honestly, he seems to be dealing with it better than anyone.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. That’s good. Listen, Feral’s on the warpath—she won’t tell me what it’s about, but it’s bad. I think it might have something to do with what happened because she’s been talking to the girl who’s gauntlet exploded for a while now—Jaleen, I think. I’d stay out of her way today if I were you.”
“If she knows something about Roo, she should tell us,” I said. “She has no right to keep that kind of thing from us.”
“Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? She’ll tell us when she tells us.”
“Fine,” I said. “But if Roo gets worse and she—”
“She would never let one of her scrammers get hurt. Ever.” She paused. “Okay, well not seriously hurt, anyhow. Well, then again… Fuck it, you know what I mean.”
The way Pebbles was acting made me a little uneasy. She was pretty worked up, and I don’t know if I’d ever heard her curse before. We joined the rest of the group and watched Feral and Jaleen talking. They were too far away to hear what they were saying, but Jaleen looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“He could have died!” Feral shouted at last. “You could have died! Are you that fucking stupid?”
Jaleen didn’t say anything—at least not anything we could hear. Feral said something else, and Jaleen looked like she was arguing.
“No!” Feral shouted again. “You’re done. That’s it. Now get your sorry ass off my pitch!”
Jaleen ran off the field, sobbing.
Feral looked at the ground for a few seconds, then shook her head and came back to the group.
“Listen up,” she said. “Those of you who were at tryouts on Friday know what happened, and the rest of you have probably heard by now. There was an accident—a gauntlet exploded and one of my scrammers ended up losing his foot because of it.”
She stared at us for a long minute. “Accidents happen,” she said. “We all know there’s risk involved when we scram, but we try to minimize that risk by being smart, by following the rules, and by knowing ourselves and our teammates. I may beat the living shit out of you from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about each and every one of you and your well-being.”
There was a tittering of laugher among the younger players.
“Shut the fuck up,” Feral snarled. “You think I’m joking? Well, I’m fucking not. I do care about you. And when someone does something that endangers the life of one my scrammers, I take it personal. Every one of you is a member of this team until I say otherwise, and as a team, you have to be able to trust each other. You have to watch each other’s back. You have to know that anyone here will take a shot for you when you need it. You win together, you lose together—that’s the only way this works.
“So when someone does something that puts themselves before the team, I take it personal. You should too. What happens to one person on the team affects all of you. On Friday, Jaleen decided to play with an illegally altered gauntlet and she ended up putting Roo Pearblossom in the hospital,” Feral growled.
“She had tampered with her glove’s energy gate to try to get more power. So when she cast a spell, the gauntlet drew power not only from her, but from everything around it. Well, it worked; she got more power. But there’s a reason we don’t do this: First off, it’s illegal and there’s no way she would have gotten away with it in a match. But more importantly, there’s no way to know what will happen when someone uses a tool to wield more power than they can control. In this case, the gauntlet exploded and put Roo—put all of us—in the hospital.”
She scanned our faces to make sure it was sinking in. Satisfied, she went on.
“What she did was stupid, dangerous, selfish, and it got her kicked off the team without me even having to cut her. She had already kicked herself off the team the second she put that glove on; all I did today was tell her about it. If anyone else has any bright ideas about how to give themselves an edge like that, you might as well go home, because you’re already off the team.”
No one said anything as Feral glared at us. “That’s it,” she said, relaxing her jaw. “Get to work. Newbies, you’re with me.”
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1: Welcome to Raekos University
- Chapter 2: Scramble, Mythical Monkey!
- Chapter 3: Professor Jerkface
- Chapter 4: Talking to Rocks
- Chapter 5: Ow, My Ear!
- Chapter 6: Puff the Magic Dragon
- Chapter 7: Shower Scene
- Chapter 8: Playing with Pebbles
- Chapter 9: Over the River and Through the Woods
- Chapter 10: Of Books and Ballet
- Chapter 11: And Then the World Started to Hurt
- Chapter 12: Teddy Bears Have Boring Picnics
- Chapter 13: Overabundance of Stupid
- Chapter 14: Dinner and a Show
- Chapter 15: Shawn Shall Take No Guff
- Chapter 16: Really... Shut Up, Squishy
- Chapter 17: Rock Is No Water When It Comes to Slides
- Chapter 18: I Fell Off a Mountain, Didn't I?
- Chapter 19: Let’s Not Forget Who the Damsel Is Here
- Chapter 20: Mmm... Entrails...
- Chapter 21: Stabbity Stab-Stab
- Chapter 22: Tryouts and Tribulations
- Chapter 23: Are They Supposed to Explode?
- Chapter 24: Roo's Mom is... Intense
- Chapter 25: Ooh, a Project...
May 6th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Just discovered your site the other day (thanks to Proj. Wonderful, I believe); caught up all in one go. You are deft with character: each one has a distinctive style/flavor/feel with just a few verbal 'brushstrokes'. And they're fun to hang out with. Am looking forward to finding out what race Fallon is -- soft quills? And there is evidently more to her than Shawn's caught onto yet; in a brawl, I'd -much- rather be on her side.... Bridget the Pirouette is an interesting critter; really enjoyed the "one with everything" experience but I'm betting that Lenis will be anything -but- impressed with Shawn's paper. Or maybe "impressed" is a bit of understatement; I'm expecting shock followed by "we have to kill you now smartass" (or, Lenis being so far a good guy, "I have to hide you now smartass") except that I more largely expect you to surprise me.
"Cognitive Arts major" -- genius. Or poetry. And Jerris' two-minute class was perfect for a fallen politico clueless about teaching.
One small sour note, for me at least -- and at least one RPA (Real Published Author; hardbound, yet) has done the same. In a world that is blatantly -not- the Earth I know (the "real world"), people having !normal English! names is like fingernails on a chalkboard. It's kind of surreal, and not in a good way -- I half-fear that "Sha'anyr NacRae'vyr" will finally get the right meds, snap out of his psychosis to realize that he's Shawn MacRae, and go back to Yale or Harvard with his girlfriend Elizabeth, and the whole wonderful otherworld will have been just an allegory or dream (Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, or Iron Dragon's Daughter, both of which I would have liked otherwise, but dream-fantasies are -such- cheats).
The sheer phonemes of "Aaron" -- Aron, Arron, Eirun, Aryn, even Erin -- can be made believable for almost any real-world language, but that specific spelling stamps it as modern English. Derrick could be Deric, Derric, Deryk; Chris could be Kris. But there's no getting past "Elizabeth", one of the most popular English girl's names of all time.
Given the huge variety of sentient races (species? but there are hints of interbreeding), I'm looking forward to how the politics is structured. I need to go write an essay on racism; CotF would make a fascinating referent therein. I regard "like-minded people" as "my" people, as color, shape, gender (both/neither?), even chemical signature seem dreadfully superficial classifications.
Oh, and the one day you added a couple of illustrations -- it worked, if you ask me. I'd miss your descriptive passages if you went to a "graphic" format, but the occasional pic can be nice, and those two in particular fit right in.
You are now on my "donate" list, which is headed by the Foglios' "Girl Genius" comic. Thanks for writing!
May 6th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
EXCELLENT. This is probably one of the best chapters so far. Also, I want to point out that this is one of your better chapter titles. A lot of the other ones have been kind of silly, but this one was entertaining AND piqued my interest about the story...it made me WANT to read the chapter.
The Eisha character is a little cliche, but you wrote it in an entertaining enough way that--combined with the interesting idea of Gibri family relations--it works. If you include her in the future, I'd try to give her a little more depth, or bring in other family members too so we can see the interplay. For example, what would it be like when BOTH the moms are there? Is it all harmonious and happy, or is there a little bit of competition for the young 'uns love, or something else entirely? The point is, the Overbearing Mom bit worked well for this chapter, but unless she's heading back to Gibri-land soon you'll need to add more layers to her. (However, I did love the way you wrote her dialogue. Well done. ^_^)
The exploding gauntlet issue was handled well too, if somewhat predictably. The scenario didn't add a ton to the plot, but it did give you more opportunity to characterize Feral, which is nice. Again, I like where Feral is so far, but be careful not to let her slip into the Rough But Ultimately Caring Coach cliche.
As far as Mellyrn's point about names goes, I don't really have a problem with the regular English names here. There are enough modern analogues in the story that it doesn't sound that weird to me, and I'd rather you just have the names than spell them really strangely for no real reason. I mean, all the characters are speaking fairly casual English anyway. I think you could argue that for this kind of college-themed story, normal names add a level that the reader can relate to--this may be a college where they study magic, but there's still a John Doe frat boy and a Susie Johnson tomboy, etc. The only obvious exception would be distinctly non-humanoid races, like a dragon named Jeff or something. If they have their own language, they should probably have their own naming conventions--though they may, as in the case of Shawn, decide to go by a more standard English nickname. Same deal as with foreign kids in a class who take up an easier nickname to avoid difficulties.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
The name thing is a personal idiosyncracy. They're Eurocentric names, for (apparently) nonEurocentric people. I'd be just as bewildered at humans named Chiang, Ahmadinejad, Genghis, Toyota, Liliulokalani -- they're all names that tie the person to a known culture, specifically a culture not present in this world. Pan regards a dragon named Jeff as an "obvious" exception for exactly the same reason: it connects the dragon to a non-draconic culture. I find the non-Englishwoman named "Elizabeth" just as confuddling. The humans' names here in Khartan are "normal" only for Europeans. Maybe I have this issue because I deal with people first-named Kittiwit and Oluwatosin, Masayuke and Volker in real life every day. Do what trips your trigger, by all means.
May 6th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Hey! Thanks for friending me. This is a great story so far. I especially like the humorous scenes. You do them well. Do you read A Lee Martinez by any chance? If not, you really should. He also writes humorous sci-fi/fantasy.
The only constructive criticism I can give you is to proofread a little better. I didn't see any misspellings, but lots of little omitted or incorrect words (which the spellchecker doesn't catch). I have a reader on my own webnovel who consistently lets me know where and when I've made similar mistakes, so guess I'm passing it on to you. heh
I have to go add your link to my site now.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I really like where you're taking ferals character!
I had to laugh as Eisha, she reminds me of a few people i know and i laugh at those people.
Over all i really like this chapter.
I think that if there ever comes a time where you feel like wraping up the story and ending it (gaia forbid) you should see about getting it published because I know for a solid gold fact I'd buy it.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Mellyrn, true, I didn't quite think of it that way. I think it depends on the audience. I guess by writing in English, it makes me just sort of assume that the story is tailored toward the typical English-speaking market where those types of names would be most prevalent. It really does come down to a preference thing--it really annoys me when authors name characters unpronounceably, whether or not it makes sense to do so. =P
May 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@mellyrn: Thanks so much! I'm glad you're liking it. About the illustrations: I'm working on it. I can't really draw people—like, at all—so I've been looking for someone to do illustrations, or at least character portraits. I think my girlfriend is going to start doing some of the portraits though, so hopefully there will be more art soon!
In regard to the names: I do have some naming conventions for the different races; for example, the Gibri tend to have short, "roundish" first names and plant/forest-related nouns for last names. The humans usually have European names simply because there are so many races with strange or difficult names that using conventional names for humans (and some non-humans) is just more comfortable to read, I think. Plus, I do my best to let characters name themselves (Lu and Aaron both named themselves), and I try not to use unconventional spelling for it's own sake. I have actually gotten criticism for having too many unpronounceable words and names.
As for being "Eurocentric," yes, I suppose it is a bit. But then again, so is most of what I read and write. If anything, Khartan is vaguely European in it's culture and whatnot (in Raekos anyhow). European culture would be the baseline from which Khartan deviates (as opposed to starting with say, an Asian culture, and working from there.
@Pan: Glad you liked the chapter so much! I wouldn't have chosen this one for one of the best, but hey, whatever floats your duck.
@Candace: I have not read any A. Lee Martinez, but I think my dad has a copy of Gil's All Fright Diner that I might steal.
I do have a friend who edits each chapter for me, and I try to catch most of my mistakes, but Pan catches most of what Whitney and I miss. I will try to proofread more carefully though, thanks.
@Cameron: I do have an ending planned out... though that would only be the end of book 1. There's way too much in Khartan to let it go with one story. When I do end up finishing it, I'll probably go back and work it over again, then see about getting it published. I'd love for traditional publishing, but at the very least I'll make it available as an ebook or on lulu.
May 8th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I would buy it and force people to read it and love it @w@
May 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Wow! Keep going. I can't wait to say "I knew him when..."
May 9th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Consider my duck floated. Looking back, I don't think it's necessarily the writing or any particular event in this chapter that really pleased me (though I did enjoy Roo's mom a lot), but instead the budding of potential for some REALLY interesting story directions. There's the dramatic tension surrounding Roo's recovery, the impending beginning of scram practices, and even the gargoyle is intriguing. This chapter definitely made me look forward to future chapters more than some other ones have. =)
(Also, its not it's >.> Heil Merriam-Webster!)
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
"“Eisha can be…” Jarn paused to find for the right word."
"fish" might be a better verb than "find", at least with that tense you've got going here. or even "rummage".
i'm all caught-up now.
please write more.
May 24th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Uh-oh, Pan, you may have a run for your money here as Chief ReadEditor; Lachesis is gunning for your title!
The "for" wasn't supposed to be there. ("Jarn paused to find the right word.") Thanks for catching that!
I AM writing more. In fact, I have many words of chapter 25 already written. Now it's time to track down Whitney-editor and figure out what's wrong with it. Then fix that. Then decided whether to include another segment or not. Then final edit. Then format. Then post it.
See? It's basically already up...
May 25th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Just found this story. Very cool! I like the characters, and you've got a lovely writing style.
May 25th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Why, thank you! I'm glad you're liking it; hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up soon, so come on back
May 26th, 2009 at 6:25 am
I am not a writer in any way. I don't ted to read much besides the occasional comic or webnovel when I can find the time. But I find the argument about names on here kind of entertaining. I personaly find the more common names easier to read and remember. Don't missunderstand, I wouldn't want a story where everyone has he same name, but there are 5 John's in my close group of friends. Thank whatever deity of your choice for nicknames.
A few of the fathers to be that I work with where having a similar argument that started when an Irish father said he wanted to name his son Exavior (which I know is because he addors the x-men series), and a man who claims African decendance said that was a "black" name.
I don't know how many of you are Amerians who pay attention to the world around you, but our culture was once based soly on the English. That has evolved to include any number of other cultures now, and using te concept of "that only works for this type of person" logic is outdated. You are stereotyping. The witer obviously has an English or American background, get over it.
May 27th, 2009 at 3:56 am
I'm glad and disappointed to be caught up. Glad, because it was a pure blast to read, through and through. Disappointed, because now I have to wait for more. Either way, it's definitely inspired me to write more, which is why I've just registered to a new blog. (Hence, the addition of a website to my profile). Can't wait for more to come up.
May 28th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Boatman, it's interesting that your friend said that Xavier is a "black" name because I first encountered it as a French name. There is Xavier University in New Orleans which is a black college, but I think that Xavier was a last name in that case (same goes for Professor X.) The "French" name Xavier (pronounced Zah-vi-ay or Zah-vi-aeh) is a first name. But, all that aside, I agree the idea that certain names are only for certain types of people is silly. However, that some names are more common in certain groups or more typical of certain ethnicities is undeniable.
) and certainly wouldn't want to discourage further comments from you, I do want to give a gentle word of caution against getting too argumentative in these discussions (I'm mainly referring to the little line, "get over it.") Thanks!
On another note, while I appreciate your comment (especially since it mostly backs up what I was saying
April 22nd, 2010 at 10:02 pm
@mellyrn: Thanks so much! I'm glad you're liking it. About the illustrations: I'm working on it. I can't really draw people—like, at all—so I've been looking for someone to do illustrations, or at least character portraits. I think my girlfriend is going to start doing some of the portraits though, so hopefully there will be more art soon!
In regard to the names: I do have some naming conventions for the different races; for example, the Gibri tend to have short, "roundish" first names and plant/forest-related nouns for last names. The humans usually have European names simply because there are so many races with strange or difficult names that using conventional names for humans (and some non-humans) is just more comfortable to read, I think. Plus, I do my best to let characters name themselves (Lu and Aaron both named themselves), and I try not to use unconventional spelling for it's own sake. I have actually gotten criticism for having too many unpronounceable words and names.
As for being "Eurocentric," yes, I suppose it is a bit. But then again, so is most of what I read and write. If anything, Khartan is vaguely European in it's culture and whatnot (in Raekos anyhow). European culture would be the baseline from which Khartan deviates (as opposed to starting with say, an Asian culture, and working from there.
@Pan: Glad you liked the chapter so much! I wouldn't have chosen this one for one of the best, but hey, whatever floats your duck.
@Candace: I have not read any A. Lee Martinez, but I think my dad has a copy of Gil's All Fright Diner that I might steal.
I do have a friend who edits each chapter for me, and I try to catch most of my mistakes, but Pan catches most of what Whitney and I miss. I will try to proofread more carefully though, thanks.
@Cameron: I do have an ending planned out... though that would only be the end of book 1. There's way too much in Khartan to let it go with one story. When I do end up finishing it, I'll probably go back and work it over again, then see about getting it published. I'd love for traditional publishing, but at the very least I'll make it available as an ebook or on lulu.